Day Four--Love is Thoughtful.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me...How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. --Psalm 139:17-18

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them. 

"For most couples, things begin to change after marriage. The wife finally has her man; the husband has his trophy. The hunt is over and the pursuing done. Sparks of romance slowly burn into grey embers, and the motivation for thoughtfulness cools. You drift into focusing on your job, your friends, your problems, your personal desires, yourself. After a while, you unintentionally begin to ignore the needs of your mate." Page 16, The Love Dare.

 

This whole process so far has made me remember back to when Zak and I took Premarital counseling with River Valley Community Church. The counseling was based on the message of Love and Respect Ministries by Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs. I've realized over the last few days how much I've actually ignored Zak's needs, how much I've actually "stopped loving him" (the way I should anyway)...without even realizing it. I realized that for the better part of the last two and a half years, Zak and I have been on the "Crazy Cycle."

Always reacting to each-other causing problem after problem and never really ending the craziness. Where we thought we were loving eachother, we really weren't doing it well, right.  By taking part in this 40 Day Love Dare, I really feel like things are incredibly better than they have been in a long time. I finally feel like Zak is starting to appreciate me and is showing me that he loves me again, kind of like when we were newlyweds or first dating. I've realized Loving someone is proactive, Loving someone is going out of your way to make sure they are happy, putting their needs before your own. Think about it, (for those of you that have children) you will undoubtedly put their needs before your own. That's because you truly love them, your love is unconditional. That's the way our love should be with our spouse. Truly and honestly love them unconditionally, want to go out of your way to "spoil them" and make them happy. That what brings about the Energizing Cycle. By my doing all these seemingly silly little things for Zak, he has opened up to me and begun to give me what I've needed for a really long time...and he doesn't even realize it! He's just doing it because (I assume) he wants to do nice things for me, because I've been doing nice things for him....It's really quite simple, I don't understand why it is so hard for people to understand. I guess, like it was for me, you can never truly understand until you experience the effects of such a powerful thing in your own life.

Take the Challenge!