Eat Pray Love

"I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life- so why did I feel like none of it resembled me?"

--Liz
Eat Pray Love

Only Girl (In The World)

I'm looking for some feedback here... How realistic do you think this is?

Gratitude.

Be grateful for what you have, for you never know when it might disappear from your life.

Oh My.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can and The wisdom to know the difference.

Cause today I sure need it.

A Journey Unknown.

What are we doing here? How are we supposed to know what the right thing to do is?

My mind is constantly churning and analyzing life, situations, myself, my choices and other people.

I am beginning to feel lost. What is the right choice? What is the right answer? Am I even doing the right thing? Am I setting a good example for my daughter? Where is the fine line between being a good parent and being my own person; having my own separate identity? Where do my expectations and ideals come from? Invented by a soul so fragile it needed them for survival I'm sure.

While I don't have the strength, courage, or want to believe in a higher power that knows what is best for me,  I feel I need to come in touch with my soul. To connect and have some sort of inner peace. My mind is stricken with questions that remain unanswered. The anxiety I feel on a daily basis is becoming more difficult to control. I feel if I don't remain steadfast on my life journey and remain constantly busy, the possibilities of what could happen are endless. What if I lose control and everything falls apart again? What is currently holding me together? I don't know. I feel at any moment everything could change and I will be back where I started.

I read something today about success. It went something like this: success is not measured by how much we have or who we know but rather it should be measured by how far we have come.

I fear failure. While there is a big part of me that continually strives for perfection, I am aware that this goal is completely unattainable. I am not sure if I could handle my life completely and utterly falling apart again. I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I suppose I just need to have faith in myself and stop second guessing my own choices. Every single one I've made has been for a specific reason, unconsciously known or not. Sometimes though, I just need that little bit of reassurance that I'm headed in the right direction. It makes me feel safe.

:)

Don't waste a minute not being happy.  If one window closes, run to the next window -- or break down a door.  - Brooke Shields

Poem.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

                Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in... it's a habit... but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

Elliptical Illusions.

Is life merely a set of coincidences that happen to us or are we the architects of our own existence? I'd like to believe that we have control of our own lives. We control our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. In reality we determine how our lives turn out. While we may not have control of others' behaviors we are responsible for our own. If there was something in life you wanted badly enough, you would make it yours; nothing would stop you.

We get stuck within the limitations of our own self defeating behaviors and continuously pull ourselves down. The key is to have the awareness to break free of the trap that ensnares us. Practice being more aware of your feelings. Take action in a situation instead of reacting to one.

Have faith, turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. Smile from the depth of your soul and simply enjoy life.

A Way To Be Happy.

In over a dozen years as a stress consultant, one of  the most                     pervasive and destructive mental   tendencies I've seen is                     that of focusing on what we want instead of what we have.       

It doesn't seem to make any difference how much we  have; we                       just keep expanding our list of desires,  which guarantees we                       will remain dissatisfied. The mind-set that says "I'll be happy when this desire  is fulfilled" is the same mind-set that will repeat  itself once that  desire is met. We want this or that.  If we  don't get what we  want we keep thinking about all  that we  don't                      have--and we remain dissatisfied.  If  we do  get what we want, we simply re-create the  same  thinking in our new circumstances.  So,  despite  getting what we want, we still remain  unhappy.  Happiness can't be found when we are  yearning for  new desires.

Luckily, there is a way to be happy.  It   involves changing  the emphasis of our thinking from  what we want to  what we have.  Rather than wishing  your spouse were  different,                     try thinking  about her  wonderful  qualities.  Instead of complaining about  your salary, be grateful that you have a job. Rather  than wishing you were able to take a                       vacation to  Hawaii, think of how much fun you have had close                       to  home.  The list of possibilities is endless!

Each time you notice yourself falling into the "I wish life were different" trap, back off and start over.                       Take a breath and remember all that   you have to be  grateful                     for.  When you focus not on what you want, but on what you have, you end up getting more of  what you want anyway.  If you focus on the good qualities of your spouse, she'll be more loving.  If you are grateful for your job rather than  complaining about it, you'll do a                       better job, be more productive, and probably end up getting                       a raise anyway.  If you focus on ways to enjoy yourself around home rather than than waiting to enjoy yourself  in Hawaii, you'll end up having more fun.  If you  ever do                      get to Hawaii, you'll be in the habit of   enjoying yourself.  And, if by some chance you don't, you'll have a great life anyway.

-by Richard Carson

After A While.

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. And   you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes  ahead,  with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. And  you  learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground  is too  uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in   mid-flight. . After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to leave you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure; You really are strong, you really do have worth. And you learn, and you learn With every goodbye you learn.

I Love It.

So Brave.

I took my daughter to get her ears pierced today at the local tattoo parlor! Way more sanitary than any place that uses a piercing gun lol. However, I would like to say she took it like a champ! My little princess is growing up! :):):):)

A Walk On The Wild Side.

Lately I've been feeling the need for change, inside and out! So needless to say, I've been a bit spontaneous. Went and got pierced yesterday, going to dye my hair tomorrow, and in a few days I'm going on a road trip. Not that I'm throwing caution to the wind, but it's time I live a little more. Responsibly of course! :)

Real Life.

Last night I dreamt we bumped into each other again. I saw a sadness in your eyes which leaves me thinking about you a lot today. Hope all is well.

I Think So Too.

Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that.

Truth?

There are two things in life that motivate you, the fear of pain and the desire for pleasure.

I Love This Song.

This is for You.

I'm not sure you even still read this, but even though we're not speaking, it doesn't mean I don't still think about you.

...Maybe someday I will see you at the He-Man Store.

Thank You!

I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of my readers. I appreciate you taking the time to read all my random speculations! You're all welcome to leave any comments as you don't need an account to do so! Love you guys! :) to

No Fear.

I am not afraid to love again. Never thought I would say that, but it's finally true. While I have specific ideas about the type of person I want in my life, I am no longer afraid to let someone get close to me. I cannot let any fear rule my life. I Am In Charge Of My Own Life. Someday I will find a person that is willing and determined to put just as much effort as I am into a relationship. That day will come, someday. I will be patient and it will happen. I will let love find me...in the mean time, I'm just gonna have fun!

Today is a Musical Day.

Psych 101.

The Devil's Advocate-
Someone who spends more time looking at the 10 percent that doesn't fit than the 90 percent that does.

Truth.

A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse.

- Stephen Dolley Jr.

Courage.

Courage is admitting that you're afraid and facing that fear directly. It's being strong enough to ask for help and humble enough to accept it.

Courage is standing up for what you believe in without worrying about the opinions of others. It's following your own heart, living your own life, and settling for nothing less than the best for yourself.

Courage is daring to take a first step, a big leap, or a different path. It's attempting to do something that no one has done before and all others thought impossible.

Courage is keeping heart in the face of disappointment and looking at defeat not as an end but as a new beginning. It's believing that things will ultimately get better even as they get worse.

Courage is being responsible for your own actions and admitting your own mistakes without placing blame on others. It's relying not on others for your success, but on your own skills and efforts.

Courage is refusing to quit even when you're intimidated by impossibility. It's choosing a goal, sticking with it, and finding solutions to the problems.

Courage is thinking big, aiming high, and shooting far. It's taking a dream and doing anything, risking everything, and stopping at nothing to it make it a reality.

~ Caroline Kent ~

Lesson Learned?

Not everyone deserves a second chance.

**UPDATE**
6.7.11

Wrong.
Lesson learned?
Stop falling for men that are emotionally unavailable.
I've learned that ... no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back