A Way To Be Happy.

In over a dozen years as a stress consultant, one of  the most                     pervasive and destructive mental   tendencies I've seen is                     that of focusing on what we want instead of what we have.       

It doesn't seem to make any difference how much we  have; we                       just keep expanding our list of desires,  which guarantees we                       will remain dissatisfied. The mind-set that says "I'll be happy when this desire  is fulfilled" is the same mind-set that will repeat  itself once that  desire is met. We want this or that.  If we  don't get what we  want we keep thinking about all  that we  don't                      have--and we remain dissatisfied.  If  we do  get what we want, we simply re-create the  same  thinking in our new circumstances.  So,  despite  getting what we want, we still remain  unhappy.  Happiness can't be found when we are  yearning for  new desires.

Luckily, there is a way to be happy.  It   involves changing  the emphasis of our thinking from  what we want to  what we have.  Rather than wishing  your spouse were  different,                     try thinking  about her  wonderful  qualities.  Instead of complaining about  your salary, be grateful that you have a job. Rather  than wishing you were able to take a                       vacation to  Hawaii, think of how much fun you have had close                       to  home.  The list of possibilities is endless!

Each time you notice yourself falling into the "I wish life were different" trap, back off and start over.                       Take a breath and remember all that   you have to be  grateful                     for.  When you focus not on what you want, but on what you have, you end up getting more of  what you want anyway.  If you focus on the good qualities of your spouse, she'll be more loving.  If you are grateful for your job rather than  complaining about it, you'll do a                       better job, be more productive, and probably end up getting                       a raise anyway.  If you focus on ways to enjoy yourself around home rather than than waiting to enjoy yourself  in Hawaii, you'll end up having more fun.  If you  ever do                      get to Hawaii, you'll be in the habit of   enjoying yourself.  And, if by some chance you don't, you'll have a great life anyway.

-by Richard Carson