Let me start from the beginning:
- Friday I left Zak. Moved all my shit out while he was at work and am now learning how to be alone again. I know that sounds silly, but it's a lot harder than it sounds. I have trouble sleeping alone so I sometimes bring Zoey into bed with me because I can't sleep. Happy I'm single, but lonely.
- Wednesday my dad goes to the Emergency Room for throwing up blood. Turns out he had some internal bleeding, had to do a bunch of tests and is hopefully going to be better. They let him come home while waiting for the test results...(he just came home FINALLY today).
- Friday I find out that the people I thought were my friends, really weren't. Won't speak to me because they were friends with Zak first...(with the exception of a very small number of people). Then I find out they are spreading rumors about me, saying that I said I could fuck my best friends man whenever I wanted. Which is SOOOOOOOOOO not true. Makes me VERY angry.
- Then I find out while I am working hard to find a job and make a new and GOOD life for me and Zoey, Zak has been out drunk EVERY night, and there are "rumors" he is doing hard drugs again. Which yeah, I could see it cause last time we split up he did it then too...So that feels super awesome. I don't regret or mind being the responsible one because I'd do Anything for Zoey, but it just sucks that I won't ever get a break anymore...because with the decisions he's making, who knows what will happen.
- TODAY----------------------------UGHH. I find out that WEDNESDAY, my mom went into the Emergency Room Also..............she was ALSO bleeding, and turns out she has LEUKEMIA........
So all I have to say is WHYYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEE???????? I try so fucking hard to stay positive and not get down, and right now it's just one thing after a-fucking-nother. I don't understand why God is doing this right now, but it sucks...A Lot..............
To sum it all up, I left my husband, am trying to find any income so I can take care of Zoey, trying to get into school so I can give her a good life, both my parents went into the hospital--one for internal bleeding and one for leukemia, my "friends" ditched me and are talking shit, and my ex is drinking and doing drugs.
So yeah, life is great.
"No matter how far life pushes you down, no matter how much you hurt, you can always bounce back." - Sheryl Swoopes
1 comments:
I know what you mean about not being able to sleep alone. When Jeremy goes into the field for a week or more at a time I use to always bring Kaiden in bed with me. Now he can't sleep there because I nurse Gunner in the bed at night. I am really sorry all of this is happening. I don't even know what to say. Hang on there for that rainbow to come through!! XO
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